For those that actually take time out of their busy day to read what I (very rarely) post on here, I first want to thank you. I’m much better at writing with pen to paper, so if I put up anything at all on this blog and you read it, it’s pretty much a win.
I was never the sort to put my business out for the world to see. I used to be a pro at keeping my emotions to myself and feared the worst of ever sharing it with others. Even my friends. I felt that what I was thinking, feeling or experiencing would never be comprehended and in short I bottled it all up. Turns out, that it was a very unhealthy thing for me to do and once I finally let everything out, everything in me felt so much lighter. I now enjoy sharing with you and others my story; not just in mere conversation but in written form. I’ve been told by a few that I write well and although that compliment is still hard to swallow sometimes, I force myself to hold my nose and go for the kill.
But now, I’ve come to the realization that my simple yet transparent emotions are not all that I’ve bottled up in me. I love to write things of fiction. I didn’t know how grand that love was until I kept writing, tossing and re-writing things that I imagined for the big screen or bound for the page turners. I found a few journals and files that held these stories of everything that I had started but gave up on due to writer’s block (or a bad case of ADD. You pick.) and I felt a sting of disappointment. If I do say so myself, what I had created was actually pretty decent. Some of the things that I came up with, I’m not sure had been done before and if they did, I have yet to come across them. But the surprising fact still remained: I created them. With God’s help, I formed them and I wanted to share them. But I never finished it.
Next month, on April 11th, will be the beginning of my 25th year. In the beginning of the year something in me snapped. My desire to create and complete something lifted itself and it has become an itch that I can’t relieve with a simple scratch. Towards the end of last year, I prayed and searched for a creative writing group in my area but didn’t have much luck. In February, God beautifully answered my prayer and my search ended when I walked into Mozart’s Cafe on a rainy Tuesday evening and sat at a table of women who were tired of dreaming and were ready to make their visions. goals and dreams a reality. These gems have been the delicious filling to my cannolis and I have decided that enough was enough. Instead of me writing and throwing away my art, I will be creating and posting my art here on the blog.
This is definitely a challenge for me because only two people in my entire life have read or heard what I’ve created in the past. But now, the world will see it. I’m not doing this for the attention or the praise, I’m doing it because I’ve simply grown tired of holding my art to myself and fearing inadequacy due to comparison. I wanted to make the start of my 25th year something to remember; to accomplish something that my younger self dreamed of but was too scared to do. So starting either before or on my birthday, I will be posting chapters on what I’m working on now. I can’t say how long this project that I’m working on will last (chapter wise), but they will be here for your viewing pleasure.
My longing from this point on is to live within the realms of the art that I create. I’ve lived so long to be something that I’m not, that I want to freely flow in what comes naturally to me rather than my own false imprisonment.
Welcome to Project 25 to Life.