Day 18: If you could have a conversation with yourself in high school, what would you say?
Dear 15 yr old Brittney,
You don’t know it yet, but things are about to change. Drastically. They aren’t going to be pretty, they aren’t going to be fun. It’s going to seriously be a rough road ahead of you.
Right now, you are lost and feeling alone and very confused. You’re following the crowd and trying to figure yourself for people who are going to forget about you in the end. All you’ll have is yourself and God. The girl you are calling your best friend is going to change. You’re going to make some pretty dumb mistakes, and if you are reading this right now, you probably made the one that we both still regret to this day. Everything that you care about now is not going matter. It’s not going to be the end of the world because Todd doesn’t like you, or that David is a complete butt to you. It’s going to feel like your wants just slipped through your fingers like sand because you got rejected by them (and others), but trust me darling, neither of them are needed for what you’re about to do with your life.
I’m not going to give away too much, but you’re going to be okay. You’re going to cry and scream and rebel a little. You’re going to wish you weren’t born or that you had never met a lot of people. But you’re going to be fine.
Actually, you are going to be more than fine. You are going to be amazing. Goodness, I can’t wait for you to see how far you’ve come, to see how God spared your life, bringing you to something greater than you imagined. You are going to look back, the same way that I do every day and think “Thank you, Lord for pulling me out of that!”. You are going figure out exactly who you are and what you are made to do, you’re going to be daring and loving and wise; someone who you can be proud of little by little every morning. God is going to pour so much grace on you. Brace yourself.
I’m writing this to get you excited about you, about us and about the future that we are about to embark on. You’re going to be a little dirty and feel a little worthless. But God almighty, you’re going to be alive and well. You are going to learn so much about yourself. Hell, I’m just the 24-year-old version of you and I’m still learning.
24? Yeah, I didn’t think we were going to make it that far either. We’re 24 and not the same person, we’re 24 and love ourselves much more than how we did before. We are 24 and we are strong and free and loved in our better and in our worst.
I hope I got you excited about the path of no return. I hope your imagination has gone wild with possibilities of changes and new knowledge. But trust me beloved, you haven’t seen anything yet. I haven’t even scratched the surface.
With that being said, go make the mistakes and feel the hurts and cry. But laugh and make memories that will eventually become the stories that will help others and yourself grow. And breath. Take a deep breath of Winder air and stay calm.
You’re going to make it after all. Pinky promise.
P.S. I love you